Dear Dad...

Just the thought of losing you somehow scares me. I try hard to imagine a different understanding of death but still my heart shrinks a bit in pain. It is not a physical pain though. It is probably the attachment because of the strong bond we have and we have created for so many years of sharing life together. Since I am aware of, you have been there. Your presence, your words, your teachings, your reflections, your books and translations, your comments about political, religious and economical issues, your jokes, your own adventures and a list of much more that characterises you. You have contributed enormously to who I am now. And I am happy Dad. You keep asking me, more recently than before, and Yes, I am happy with my life. I wouldn’t say everything is running perfectly well but in general I feel life has been very generous with me. And that was from the very beginning when you chose me as your daughter and when I was able to incarnate into this physical word. You and mum made that expression possible. I am grateful to you both. My heart stores plenty memories of childhood. Your love and tender, many times in actions and words, were there. I always had the feeling you allowed me to grow and choose what I wanted. And when I was making big decisions such as career, jobs, relationship, travelling, you were behind supporting silently. You allowed me to try and explore things on my own. You insisted in the importance of searching, seeking, touching, reading and making my own experience. Many times you said “You can’t teach someone to swim if that person doesn’t even try. Only by swimming is that you learn how to swim”. Your encouragement played such an important key that I have managed so far to keep a wider view of the world and a philosophical approach to it. Your retold stories about how you left Colombia and made it into Europe, your love to classical music, your passion to reading, learning and transmitting to others, your sense of humour even when you are not that well shows exactly the beauty of your being. I know you aren’t perfect and I wouldn’t like a perfect dad. I know some of your shadows but I have learned to let them aside and appreciate more your light. And it is exactly that positive side of you that I am keen to remember in the years to come. I often look at photos, some old and some more recent ones, and I am glad I had the opportunity to have a father like you, older but with a vast range of knowledge and experience. The price of your age was the amount of experiences and inner growth you made before becoming a father. Thanks for making me feel I was a jewel, a little treasure for you. I can hardly swallow and my eyes can’t hide my sensitivity when I imagine our souls embracing each other. The image is clearly beyond this material world. We are holding hands for eternity. No matter if we are no longer physically together. Our souls will reunite at some point and I am sure we will recognise each other. And just like that we will smile again and then we will continue to talk about life and its challenges. And probably you will read to me Tolstoy’s stories for children until I fall asleep in your arms.